Courage, Fear, Struggle, Growth

I haven’t written or posted anything on my blog for about 7 months, with the exception of the previous post, now probably for a number of reasons. Why? Lazy, too busy,  nothing valuable to say, etc. For the most part I just haven’t felt like I had anything useful to say, because well…my goal in life is not to say or do anything unless it in some way benefits others.  Whether my words inspire, cause self-reflection or most often spark laughter; I need them to add to value to life.   Do my thoughts always reflect that? I don’t think they always do since most often they are simply random thoughts, however, I’ve been told otherwise.

A few weeks ago I viewed a talk by Afrobella that has inspired me to get back to blogging.  It’s given me the courage to write and not worry about what responses I may or may not get.  I’m just writing, putting it out in the universe and allowing it to reach whoever it needs to reach. I have to start somewhere and if I do nothing I get nothing in return other than wondering what might have been.  As I watched the talk given by Afrobella a number of things stood out for me but my ears perked up around 8:53 and I replayed the words below over and over to fully digest them.

“Courage comes from fear and struggle leads to growth.  Without those experiences I wouldn’t be able to identify with all of the women around the world who have been able to identify with me. I wouldn’t have recognized that we were looking for a wider reflection of ourselves. And I wouldn’t have trusted my gut instinct and that was the real thing.  Courage is looking inside yourself and recognizing I have things to say. I have a valid opinion and I can’t be the only one.”   

“Creating your own runway, creating your own platform.”

 “Live life with intent”  

The entire talk is very inspiring and I think anyone looking for the courage to overcome their fears, big or small,  should definitely watch Afrobella's talk and be inspired.

 

So I must get back to the place of fearlessness I knew a few years ago.  This blog kind of holds me accountable, perhaps that’s another reason why I’ve been absent because not writing allows me to be unaccountable and live in my own little isolated world.  However, that’s not how God wants me to live nor can He use me in anyway if I continue to linger in my comfort zone. I’m going to attempt to #writelikecrazy and have at least 1 post a week and when I get writers block I’ll share the words of others that have inspired or spoken to my heart.

Meeting God

I’ve been back from Jacmel a little over a month now and my experience there is still very vivid in my mind and heart.  It is a place I will never forget and I cannot wait to return.  Since I’ve been back I’ve told countless numbers of friends and family about my trip and they only seem to ask about what I consider to be insignificant parts of the trip; my personal safety and concerns about what people do and don’t have.  Even in sharing my photos about the trip it didn’t seem like people were getting the gist of what I wanted them know about my trip and exactly what I experienced.  As I was looking back through my photos I realized that they were, obviously, from my view point but represented different encounters with God.  Some were pictures of kids, goats, cows, people, etc. and each is like a hug or a reminder from God that He is always present and in many forms.  While in Jacmel I’ve never felt safer and surrounded by people with such abundance.  The abundance of God, love and community was overwhelming.  The moment we landed in Port-au-Prince and I looked out at the mountains I knew I was surrounded by God.  Riding to Jacmel, I knew I was surrounded by God.  I saw God in everything in Jacmel.

As time goes on I've been trying to figure out how to describe the experience to others in a way to make them not focus on "lack" but the spirit of God that is present there.  It's hard to explain an encounter with God and resting in His arms daily.  Ephesians 3:18-19 was my experience in Haiti, it happened but it is difficult to put into words.  It's all of the feelings, the hugs, the words, the smiles, the kids calling out your name, the sounds and everything I saw...all of which I've found simply unexplainable. It's hard to explain Jean-Mary singing at the work site on a hot day to someone that wasn't there or the kids that show up at the work site to help without being asked. I came to Jacmel hoping to make a difference in someone’s life and I suppose searching for something and what I found was that God was searching for me and He had to bring me to Jacmel to whisper in my ear and even use a child to remind me of His love for me and how He is constantly chasing after me even when I don’t always make myself available.  I could attempt to come up with a detailed account of my trip to Jacmel but this sums it up:

...to grasp how wide and how long and how high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. ~ Ephesians 3:18-19~

This was Jacmel.  I look forward to meeting God again.

And the presence of God which transcends ALL understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  ~Philippians 4:7~

For more information about how you can serve this amazing community, visit:

Restore Haiti 

Selflessness

God has an awesome sense of humor. In late November I had pretty much planned most of my trips for 2012 , one being going to the Essence Music Festival in July. It’s on my bucket list and I’ve always wanted to go. December 1 started my savings fund for the Essence Festival, $100 thru June of 2012. Sounds great, right?! Another thing on my bucket list is to do a mission trip and what do you know…the church has one planned for June of 2012 with the cost approximately the same that I was planning for the Essence Music Festival. I want to do both but unless it has already been ordained by God I don’t see it happening. My flesh wants to go to the Essence Music Festival, my spirit says Haiti. I’ve decided on, or perhaps I should say I've obeyed God and I'm going to Haiti...all tax deductible gift are welcome. Seriously...donations are welcome.