Delores was my Mama. 10 years ago she completed her assignment here on Earth and is now in heaven probably still bossing people around and giving out assignments to people on her various committees. I wouldn't be surprised if she has God on some committee. As I’ve grown up and come into my own as a woman over the last several years and gotten to know people who knew her in various capacities in life I’ve learned a lot about who she was.
Shortly after she left I decided not to dwell on the fact that she’s no longer here but to remember her by the life she lived and the people that still tell me “your mama taught me….” or “I do this because your mom did…” I often see her in the way others do things or their involvement in various organizations.
When she was in the hospital my aunt kept a notebook that she allowed people to write messages to my mama and I somehow came into possession of it. It is probably one of my most prized possessions and I’ll occasionally flip through it and read the messages people wrote to my mama. It’s probably 99% comical and is a great reminder of my mama’s relationship with each of the people that wrote her a message. It’s full of messages like:
“Delores, I came to see you but all you did was lay there and sleep. That’s so rude.”
“Mrs. Egeston, when you get back home I’m going to bring you a diet coke and come over and cut your grass.”
“Dee, I need you to hurry up and get better so I can tell you about what happened in sorority meeting and tell you what Morlin said.”
“Mama Dee, I drove up with Christie and Aisha and I brought you some eye shadow to try on, so when you get up I’ll show you how to use it.”
Reading these notes make me tear up just a little sometimes, but not because she is no longer here but because I remember the outpouring of love from my mother’s friends colleagues, church members, sorors, and people who just knew my aunts, grandmother, and my brothers and I. She unknowingly touched many lives in a way only she could do. She said and did what she wanted and was brutally honest with everybody. She had no filter and if she wanted you to know something she was going to tell you. There were no exceptions; ministers, organization presidents, family, people she just met…like I said no one was excluded.
I remember the funny things about my mama and funny things she said like calling one of the guys I dated Tugboat, because well he was a little on the husky adult side and the name was fitting, I guess that’s where I get my ability to make up foolish nicknames for people. I was reading through that notebook the other day, laughing and remembering and I ran across 1 message that encompassed everything others had written and who she was as a person.
Well said Joyce, well said.
